? Told to just "die already"

I called my grandmother - I suppose the Christmas spirit got into me. I called her and told her I forgave her. I found out she was in a rehabilitation program ( or at least that is what she told me) - and that she was waiting for a nurse to come and heal her "wounds". I started to cry - because for the first time I realized she might be a victim as well. Then she said something downright cruel. I told her we ( my sister and I forgave her) and then
She said to me , "You not dead yet?" - "Just die already"

When I first found about about my father's case she threatened me and told me " Her lawyer would have me fixed" That is when I had my second panic attack. My first attack was flyig back home after a court hearing in D.C. I'll write more about the panic attacks which would eventually leave my son and myself homeless.

I also called my uncle (my father's brother) and he was nice for a few minutes but then got very testy when I asked him where our grandfather's body was. He yelled that his brother choose a life of drugs and "suicided" himself. Funny because I never knew my father to be that way. He was a very hard worker. He had ( according to the death certificate ) a heart attack of natural causes.
Odd thing is - and this is just one of the many odd things about this whole case - is that when I went for the very first time to the house where my father died ( after a court hearing this summer) - I heard something very odd.
The lady ( I'll call her the lady for privacy reasons) who was at the home where my father died ( he was dead in his bed for three days before being discovered) - was in a state of shock when she saw me - and told me - this is hard to explain - we weren't even talking about how he died - but she told me that she knew my father never injected things - basically that she was shocked here and find out he died of an overdose.

And that is what I had always heard. From my grandmother, from my father's business associates, from my father's brother. That my dad died from a drug overdose. Yet on his death certificate - it says he died from natural causes? And his body was cremated - and all personal items were disposed of - including glasses and watches .. .
Cremated just like his father back in the 60's.
And it's so errie that his birthday was placed on his father's death certificate. Then he would die at the same age.
All of my father's family business and property movement started RIGHT after my father's death.


Anyways, after speaking to my uncle, he told me I should just find a nice quiet place in my mind - to find peace with my father. He told me of how his father and brother (my dad) appeared to him after my brother's death - and that he knew my father was at peace now because he was with his father. It was very beautiful how he described it the first time he told me about it (sometime back this summer when he told me how much he hated my dad and his father b/c his father was cruel to him and left everything to my father in his will). This time around though it sounded a little bit sinister ( or perhaps that is how I interpreted it after hearing the words “just die" from my grandmother" It was as if he was insinuating that I should just find peace and go join them ( my father ) wherever they were.

Add that on to what Mr. Nicholas Ward told me the last time I saw him outside the courthouse. I was crying and I asked him - when do we get closure. It's been 18 years and my dad's case is still open. When do we get closure. Tears were running down my face. This lawyer - who was hired at the last minute to help - laughed. He LAUGHED! Then he looked and smugly said with so much arrogance in his voice - and looked at me and said "You'll get your closure real soon".

I have to be very careful with writing about the events that happen to - and the events that continue to get worse the mor Ipost and blog. I am so scared for my life and for my safety. It appears as if they wanted ( whoever they are) to push me into taking my own life.

Now that that has not worked - I am afraid that other methods will be used to shut me up.

Part of the tactics used are events that are so out of scope of events in ordianry life - that if one is to even mention them to the average person - one would be deemed "crazy". So what I have been doing is documenting and taping as much as I can.

I've started a blog apart rfom this one just to document the events. I am very apprehensive to post them on this blog because I do not want to risk this blog and the information posted - not to be taken seriously.

My apologies if there are grammatical errors and spelling errors in this post. I have been feeling so sick and weak as of late that some days I can barely get out of my bed - much less post.

I thank the people who have linked to my website dcprobatemafia.com

Our case is very similar to cases of elder abuse in probate - and my god- I am in my 30's and the wrath of these cowards has rained down on me like putrid acid hate filled rain tearing at my soul and ripping my family apart. I could not imagine being in my elder years and going through this. At this point in time in America I would be terrified to be an elderly rich person without family to take care of me.

I've done a lot of research - and well this is just speculation but what appears to have happened is that after my grandfather died my grandmother married a Navy Pilot. He would later become and American Airline pilot. The man now living at my grandfather's home has the exact same background. Ex navy pilot - ex American pilot. I have traced parts of my granfather's trust ( this part I am not 100 percent sure of) but it appears to be in a bank right by O'hara airport.

Also - there is the Barrington Conservatieve Trust - my grandfather used to be the Village commisioner of North Barington. All these people ("i've have traced and connected them all) seem to be members of this Barrington Conservative trust. I have also traced an address in Wheeling Ill ...a house where a family memeber of my father lives.

I have also traced what appears to be mortages by various parties that are financed via the Barrington Trust Bank - even by a few people in my father's probate case in D.C.

The man living at my gradnfather's old home is a member of this bank's board.

I can even go further and state that it appears a few of the parties that have harrased me and son also appear to have mortages bassed in Maricopa Arizona - which directly links to North Barrington Bank and Trust.

I have al lthis information well documented -but I've been literally harrassed so much this year that well I have not had time to present it properly.
So - now I will just put bits of information up just in case something does happen to me before I can get this out.